All the latest from deep space - here's the Newsletter of the Welsh Space Agency.

Dilwyn, Megan, Cymru III and nearly a million woodlice, dog-fleas and cockroaches have all suddenly and violently left Callisto. This came as a bit of a shock to us here at WASA HQ, especially as our eyes were focussed on the the ticker-tape football results on Sky Sports at the time. In what was described as an "onboard malfunction" our motley crew didn't even get time to strap themselves in before they were squidged into the cracks in the floor blasting off for yet more adventures elsewhere in the cosmos.

Cymru III's automatic on-board cameras caught the moment of blast off - at least from outside. Dilwyn was going to have a tidy up outside the spaceship, honest. Callisto was all getting a bit boring anyway. Shopping opportunities were really limited - the number of off-licences on Callisto? Zero! Television reception was rubbish - Cymru III's BSkyB Squarial could only pick up CBeebies and QVC from Earth. And when you add all to that the nightly pesterings Dil was getting from the crew of GUSA1 (Gay Ulsterman's Space Agency) we suspect he was glad to get from there. And there was all that tidying up to be done. Anyway, now the council will just have to shift it.

Anyway, you can only begin to imagine the headache Dilwyn must have suffered as he endured +25g for 3 whole days. This is the equivalent of riding on a pikey amusement park waltzer for 112 years all at the same time, or having a blow-back whilst rodding Jeremy Clarkson's drains. And being squidged into liquid form for all this time, Dilwyn couldn't get any of his cans of speshy open. And because he was made out of wet, every fag he lit just went out again. But that's the lot of the Cymrunaut spaceman for you. Anyway, See more pictures on the website.

Completely overlooked all these years by that NASA lot as well as the Russkies, and even Phil, off of the Archers, with his bloody telescope. Cymru III just came round the corner after leaving Callisto and almost crashed into this dirty great thing. A whole new world. And we got there first. Well, not yet we haven't but we're not saying exactly where it is so we'll be coming back. More pictures here

Anyway, as Dilwyn nearly crashed into it, he got to give it a name - "Myfanwy" - after his (ex*) girlfriend.

*Some time ago our Director of Toaster Engineering Services told Myfanwy that Dilwyn was probably dead by now. So he has taken it upon himself to console her with burnt toast every morning.

Introducing our all-new, hypoallergenic, anti-wrinkle, WASA commemorative hats which are now on sale in the Online Shoppe. These garments, packed with vitamins, minerals and nano-particles we're knocking out for £9.99. This price includes postage, packaging and the hire of a specially trained courier who will locate your address out of all the millions available and deliver it to you personally. Yes, all this is included in the one-off payment of £9.99 with nothing more to pay - EVER! Or if you prefer the "never-never", you can pay in 1 simple installment of just £9.99.

These hats are simply superb for commemorating things. They can be used to celebrate :

* Special Wedding Anniversary.
* The birth of a nation.
* Royal Weddings.
* Denbighshire's all new car-parking charges.
* A favourite football team achieving something, like getting into the play-offs in the Blue Sq Conference.

You can even commiserate in them too. Try these :

* Your girlfriend chucking you for the toaster engineer.
* A bitter and bloody coup somewhere in which thousands die.
* Queen Mums passing away.
* Denbighshire's all new car-parking charges.
* A favourite football team finishing a miserable 10th in the Blue Sq. Conference for Christ's sake.

Two designs to choose from which we cunningly call Design #1 and the other one Design #2. Though we might get them mixed up, so best order one of each. You can really make a killing here because we're selling them for less than we paid for them. Which is just another example of our services to mankind.

Get 'em while they're hot from the tip-top online WASA shop.

We've had a lot of letters telling us what little hotty you all think Mamgu is. Well, we know who you are and so now do the police. And the post office should be ashamed of themselves for even delivering things like that.

Meanwhile, Uncle Rhodri has temporarily had to take over her job in the WASA mug packing and despatch department. Last saturday she had a win on the bingo and bought herself a bottle of sherry to celebrate. Unfortunately she sicked up her teeth somewhere along the way home and so now can't nip off the cellotape quite the same. Though it is entertaining watching her try.

Captured on spacecraft CCTV.

Despite being strictly forbidden to smoke in enclosed workplaces, here we caught Dil having a crafty fag before popping out for a space walk with Meg. Whereas if he'd waited until he was outside of Cymru III to light up he wouldn't have contravened any of WASA standing orders regarding space-smoking.
An enquiry is pending...

Yours, in Space

LLyr ap Llwyllion
Director of Space Newslettering