Former migrant fairground worker Dilwyn Griffiths
Former migrant fairground worker Dilwyn Griffiths

Former migrant fairground worker Dilwyn Griffiths was catapulted to fame within Wales when he was selected to be the first Welshman in space.

During tests Dilwyn demonstrated a collosal ability to sleep for days on end following heavy drinking bouts. This obviated the need to develop a hibernation / suspended animation system. And meant that sufficiently charged with Alcohol, Dilwyn would completely miss the dangerous Mars ricochet manouvre and wake up in time for the intricate crash-landing on Callisto.

For many years, Dilwyn has subsited on a diet of cheap fairground burgers and candy floss. On the long journey to Jupiter, Dilwyn’s diet will significantly improve with the addition of biscuits*1 to his diet.

Megan, approach with caution
Megan, space dog, approach with caution

Dilwyn’s dog, Megan, has been chained to a kennel for a number of years and consequently has few social skills. She has a penchant for chasing passing cars, forgetting every time about the finite length of the chain. Whereupon she usually retches before returning to the sanctuary of her hut to await the next car. She is an ideal companion for Dilwyn in the loneliness of inter-planetary space.

Megan has the astonishing ability to bark non-stop for hours on end seemingly at the sound of her own echo.

*1 Island Bakery Oat Crumbles, of course, from the Isle of Mull (www.islandbakery.co.uk)