Dilwyn, Megan, Cymru III and nearly a million woodlice, dog-fleas and cockroaches have all suddenly and violently left Callisto. This came as a bit of a shock to us here at WASA HQ, especially as our eyes were focussed on the the ticker-tape football results on Sky Sports at the time. In what was described as an “onboard malfunction” our motley crew didn’t even get time to strap themselves in before they were squidged into the cracks in the floor blasting off for yet more adventures elsewhere in the cosmos.
Analysis of the flight recorder confirms the anomaly happened as Dilwyn hunted around on the floor for a lost malteser and ended up pulling the firing rope.
Cymru III’s automatic on-board cameras caught the moment of blast off – at least from outside. Dilwyn was going to have a tidy up outside the spaceship, honest.
Callisto was all getting a bit boring anyway. Shopping opportunities were really limited – the number of off-licences on Callisto? Zero! Television reception was rubbish – Cymru III’s BSkyB Squarial could only pick up CBeebies and QVC from Earth. And when you add all to that the nightly pesterings Dil was getting from the crew of GUSA1 (Gay Ulsterman’s Space Agency) we suspect he was glad to get from there. And there was all that tidying up to be done. Anyway, now the council will just have to shift it.
Anyway, you can only begin to imagine the headache Dilwyn must have suffered as he endured +25g for 3 whole days. This is the equivalent of riding on a pikey amusement park waltzer for 112 years all at the same time, or having a blow-back whilst rodding Jeremy Clarkson’s drains. And being squidged into liquid form for all this time, Dilwyn couldn’t get any of his cans of speshy open. And because he was made out of wet, every fag he lit just went out again. But that’s the lot of the Cymrunaut spaceman for you. Anyway, See more pictures on our gallery.
